March 2012

I calculated it out, and, what with delays because The Mister can't get time off to travel until mid-late November, and then all the wait times between treatments and retesting, etc, the absolute earliest we will be able to TTCAL again is March 2010. Which means our chances of a baby in 2012 are slim. Because, although Dr. I was optimistic that this would work for us, Dr. R has been just as optimistic every time I've seen him. I'm getting tired of doctors and their optimism. Just because I'm young and I ovulate on my own, it doesn't mean the treatments will work. Nothing has worked so far. Why should I believe this next round of treatment will do more than tell us that we need to look further for our solution?

I'm not very optimistic tonight. Maybe that's because I was hoping we'd be TTCAL again in January, and even waiting that long seemed hard. March is 4-5 months away. That's an effing long wait. Maybe it's also because I overstimulated myself today. And maybe it's also because it's past midnight, The Mister isn't home yet from second shift, and I'm lonely. I should at least get ready for bed . . .