More Random Rambles

I've been wanting to say thanks to everyone who commented after on or about this post, explaining why you hadn't commented on my previous post. I was really touched that you took the time to explain. One of you said not to take it personally, and I wasn't, in the sense that I hadn't expected comments from any specific person, I was just surprised and disappointed to get *no* comments on that particular post. Anyway, thanks for the love and here's some back! ((((Hugs)))) to everyone!

I've been in a funk the past few days. It's probably PMS, although other things have been contributing. For example, I spend a few hours on Friday and Saturday going through my computer files from a midwifery course I took several years ago. That was hard. Even though I just skimmed them, it was still hard to read the opinions I used to have about birth, and realize how much I have had to change in the past 18 months, as I've adjusted to my life taking a trajectory I never anticipated. Going through RPL has really changed my perspective on pregnancy and birth. I've had to accept that things won't go the way I thought I wanted them to, and part of that has been actually stopping myself from wanting those things, or at least from thinking about them as possibilities for me. So going back and reading about what I used to want was hard.

Then, today, I had to listen to clueless people (who I haven't clued in to my situation because, well, they're clueless and I wouldn't gain anything from telling them) say stupid things about A) How we need to show off when the children are doing in Sunday School to the whole congregation more, because if you don't have kids in classes, you don't know what's going on, but if they get reminded, some people donate more money to the Sunday school program (not thinking about the people who would find it painful to be unexpectedly ambushed by a group of kids, because it would remind them of what they want but don't have) and B) A mother with adult children, who are now away at collage, complaining and acting all "poor me" because her children won't be with her on Mothers Day (I wanted to say, "At least your children are alive!"). So I came home and cried after that. It really sucked. But I had to be there because it was our scheduling meeting for who's going to teach what for the rest of the school year. At least now we won't have to meet like that again this year. And at least it was after I had lead the choir practice, otherwise I don't know how I could have gone and taught the kids.

BTW, the choir is doing really well. We have two more performances this month, and then I think we'll go back to a once a month schedule, since they don't generally want to stick around for another practice after church the day of a performance, and I don't blame them. My Kinder music classes are going really well, too. We're getting into a lot of body percussion and I think they'll be ready for rhythm instruments soon. Most of the singing is a cappella, so they can hear themselves and learn to match pitch. Occasionally I have them sing along to a recorded song on a CD. I try to do hand motions with the songs when I can, or have them keep the beat, to keep them from getting to antsy. We also do vocal exploration chants, that give them a chance to try out pitch and volume without a specific tune. I'm having so much fun with them!

So there's some bright stuff going on in my life to balance out all the sh!t.