Naming My Babies
One of the most cathartic things I did for myself, during my grieving process, was to name each of my babies. I believe that personifying them in this way helped me to process my grief more fully. You can read more about the reasons I made the choice to name them here. Another post is coming soon about the meaning each of their names holds for me.Music
I love to sing and listen to music. Listening to particular songs has been important to me in both the grieving and the healing process following my miscarriages. My Music Page showcases many of the songs that have been important to me on this journey so far. I'll be adding to it as I find new songs and music videos.Projects
I like to be busy and I like to make things. It helps to have something to do with my mind and hands while grief works itself out. And it's a bonus to have the finished product when I'm done. See my Projects Page for a more detailed description of what I've been up to.Research
My initial coping mechanism was to do research and gather information. I started with the miscarriage-specific books that I could find on the shelves of my local library. I also read books on general grieving and have recently branched out into books about fertility/infertility. For reviews, and to see what I have have read, please visit my Library page.Therapy
Following a crisis in December, I decided to seek professional therapy. My therapist, Dr. Black, has been extremely helpful. I have a lot of childhood issues that are coming to the surface right now, and healing them is helping me to cope better with my current, fertility-related challenges. Dr. Black is using a combination of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy to help me cope better with current problems, and something called EMDR to help me release issues from that past. Sometimes, it just helps to be able to spout off for an hour about what's been going on during the past week. Since beginning therapy, and especially since my first EMDR session, I am feeling much more grounded and able to cope with situations as they come up.Journal Writing
I journal a lot. I've always used writing as an outlet. For a few months after my second miscarriage, I specifically focused on exercises from some of the books above, particularly Grieving the Child I Never Knew and Travelling Free (see below). I also spend time free-writing about my thoughts and fears, etc. This blog also serves the same function. Sometimes I make pro/con lists when I'm trying to make a decision. But usually I end up going with my gut feeling.Flower Essences
Remedies that provide electrical information for healing on all levels: mind, body, emotions, spirit. My favorite company is Green Hope Farms. Their essences have helped me through many emotionally challenging situations over the past 2-3 years.Focusing
This is a technique for dealing with difficult emotions by noticing where they are located in your body and putting your attention on the physical sensation. My mom does it with me, over the phone. You can check out the The Focusing Institute, if you want to learn more. It's really hard to describe.
