Midwife Visit, Therapist Search, and Why I Love My RE

First of all, these are so different from doctors' visits. Despite having to go to a resource center intended for fertile people, it didn't end up being too stressful. Of course, due to all the emotional turmoil I've been in, I was a wreck at home beforehand, but once the visit started, things were fine, and I remembered all the reasons why I chose this midwife in the first place.

I kept my sunglasses on while I walked past the receptionist, and settled myself into the back room where my midwife meets with her clients. It's a nice, cozy room with a couch and easy chairs, very homey. I brought my mp3 player, but forgot an extra battery (I blame my nerves), so I only got to listen to one song before it died. I also didn't have time to pack my knitting, so I read a book instead. I only waited a few minutes for the midwife to arrive.

I had spent some hours over the weekend preparing a summary of all the tests I'd had done, their results, what it all means, and how I'm being treated, so that she could see it all at a glance and on one page. I also brought a copy of all my lab reports. The summery was very useful for discussing what is wrong with me and the current and future treatment plans. My midwife was able to get a clear picture of what I am at risk for, and say that, as long as I don't develop Pre-E or placental problems, I should be low enough risk for a home birth. We agreed that it will probably be a good idea for me to see both her and Dr. R. throughout my pregnancy, because I expect to continue to need at least some prescription meds as well as close monitoring. I was pleasantly surprised to learn that my midwife has heard of Dr. R., and all good things at that. She thinks there is a good chance he will support my plans for a home birth. Wow!

I'm not sure what to think. For the past few months, I've been preparing myself for the idea that a hospital birth will be inevitable, and now it seems I still have a chance at a home birth. I don't have to make a firm decision any time soon--my midwife said that she'd want me to decide by 36 weeks, which gives me plenty of time to get my emotions in order and figure out what I want and where I will feel safest giving birth. My midwife has had other clients with previous miscarriages, and it willing to provide extra support if I need reassurance.

I'm also really glad I asked my midwife to leave her baby with someone else. She was happy to support me in that way, and it did make it much easier for me to focus on our discussion. She was glad that I asked, as it hadn't occurred to her.

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I made a bunch of phone calls today as part of my search for a therapist. First I confirmed that my insurance covers therapy and I don't need a doctor's note or pre-certification. Then I called the four therapists on my list. Two have gotten back to me. One I spoke to, and she sounds knowledgeable and compassionate. She specializes in fertility issues, and has experience with RPL clients. She is also in-network. The second one I spoke to only briefly, as I was just sitting down to a late dinner when she called. (In my desperate attempt to maintain my weight despite Met.formin's best efforts, I have to eat 4 meals a day, and space them out several hours apart, so dinners are nearly always late in the evening.) Although I called her back as soon as I finished eating, she didn't pick up. She promised to call tomorrow morning, if she wasn't able to pick up when I returned her call this evening. 

These two therapists were already my top choices based on their web sites, and their quick response time only improved my high opinion of them. I plan to schedule a consultation with each of them (as well as at least speaking to either of the other two who call me back) before making a decision. Assuming all other things are equal, I'll go with the in-network provider, but if I click better with the out of network one, the insurance will still pay enough to discount the cost somewhat.

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I e-mailed Dr. R. yesterday with some questions and concerns, and he got back to me that evening! I love this guy! He returns weekend e-mails before Monday morning! He did his best to reassure me. I was worrying about how I will know if my treatments are working (he said there are no tests, but they work most of the time) and whether the things I'm already taking will be enough to keep me pregnant until I get a BFP on an HPT (he said I could go ahead and start the heparin and progesterone mid LP every cycle and just discontinue if no BFP). Now I'm going to follow up and ask about betas. He hasn't mentioned them, but my hCG hasn't been tested yet, and I want to know that the levels are high enough, and rising well.

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So, her I am, somewhat optimistic, having made good progress, and starting to look at other little chores like Christmas cards and presents for family . . .